Review of Hawthorn Suites By Wyndham Greenville 3*

Think back to the dirtiest guy you knew in college: did you ever visit his apartment? It was damp and humid and had a strange smell that vacillated somewhere between cigarettes and body odor. The shades were always drawn. The sofa cushions felt damp. You left your shoes on because the carpets were dirty. He’d knocked holes in the walls and patched them himself and painted over them with a paint color that didn’t quite match. The bathrooms were the worst: discolored caulk, exhaust vents caked in dust, the spongy floor. As soon as you arrived you wanted to leave. How could anyone live like that? Well, if you never knew this guy in college then you’re in luck: all you have to do is visit Hawthorn Suites by Wyndham in Greenville, South Carolina. It’s just like being in that sketchy dude’s college apartment. When you arrive you’ll see that the landscaping has completely gone to pot; weeds choke the parking lot and trash blows freely like tumbleweeds. As you make your way to your room you’ll notice the courtyard possesses the ambience of a 1960s beachside motor court that hasn’t been updated since the 1960s: the paint chips away in chunks the size of maple leaves; stairs lean precariously away from landings; decking is slippery and moldy. Inside the habitation we spent one night in you’ll find stained carpets, chipped paint, holes in the walls, moldy bathrooms, a clogged toilet, and a refined scent of urine. We arrived around dinnertime and put our six-month-old to bed. She’s a baby so the urine smell seemed totally normal to her, and she slept great. On the other hand, my wife and I lie awake all night trying to decide how we had so wronged God that we ended up in a dumpster fire of a hotel like this one. The next day I asked for a different room since ours was unacceptable. The woman at the front desk was very nice and very courteous, and she said another room was being cleaned and I could check it out soon. An hour later (around 4:00 p. M. ), the new room was ready for my appraisal. It was in the same dilapidated state as our current room, but it smelled of cigarettes instead of urine. We checked out and headed up the street to the Crowne Plaza, which is exceptional. If you want to sleep easy in a clean room and feel that you’re doing the best for your family, then I suggest you bypass Hawthorn Suites by Wyndham in Greenville, South Carolina. But if you want to pretend you’re in college – perhaps smoke a bowl under a black light while playing Bond and listening to Cypress Hill – then Hawthorn Suites may be the place for you.