Review of Nesuto The Entrance 3*

If housing commission style accommodation is your thing, then I welcome you to stay here. You will feel right at home. This place is plain and simple, a ghetto. A concrete jungle with exposed pipes and overhead walkways and stairwells reminiscent of a Bronx neighbourhood. I suppose I have no one to blame but myself — a hotel built above a carpark in a laneway should have raised some red flags, but we stayed here none the less. Here is a highlight of the most memorable moments of our stay. The front desk is hardly ever manned, and when it is by random, instead of a smiling, happy face to greet you, you are met by a someone with a face like a smacked ass instead. The rooms are, how should I say, pure filth. The remote control for the decrepit air conditioning unit was so dirty that I couldn't even see the digital display panel, and I could only imagine the thousands of dirty little digits that had fondled those buttons before me. The carpet is so stained you'd be forgiven for thinking Pro Hart had spent some time here. The extraction fan in the bathroom didn't work, but here is the best part — there was a sign inside the bathroom advising you to keep the bathroom door CLOSED both during and after showering because the escaping steam would set off the smoke alarm, which would trigger the fire department to come to the hotel, which is a VERY costly exercise, and one which you would be liable to pay for. So you pretty much die of suffocation after having a shower. The second bedroom isn't really a bedroom. It's more like a terrible walk in wardrobe with a bed inside it. There is no fan, no windows, no air con, just a couple of ugly wardrobe style sliding doors to trap you in your hell hole, so yeah, you pretty much die of suffocation in there also. If you are "lucky" enough to sleep in a room with a window, you are then privy to the myriad of delightfully colourful conversations the fellow guests have as they wander through the ghetto gangways at 4am. F you, F me, F her, F your mum, and F everyone is pretty much the spirit and tone of the conversations you will hear. All this for only $350 a night. You're welcome.