Review of Laguna Hotel 3*

09/25/2011

Respond
1/10
A weekend to be spent with my wonderful girlfriend, seeing comedian Alan Carr, quickly turned out to be a Carr-Crash due to the 70’s style accommodation that must have an allergy to dusters, possibly developed 10 years or so ago. Pulling off into the car park, we were greeted with a lovely gravel drive and ample parking, but probably not the best surface for grating a brand new Roxy bag across to get to the borrowers-sized reception desk. A friendly chap greeted us and an arrivals card was duly filled in, after which he led us on the 2-minute walk to another of the hotels’ outbuildings. He left us with around 30 meters from the front door with adequate directions to find our room. Once the door and right, left, right turns were negotiated we came across Room 307. Placing the key into the lock, a short clockwise rotation served up a veritable feast to my nostrils, a sign as to why the decent fellow had earlier made a premature exit from proceedings, an insight into what the room would hold in store. Student house damp smell was the immediate thought, and then the third (smell and taste bing the previous two) of the 5 senses took over – sight. Due to not being alive in the 70’s I am not speaking from the voice of experience, but this was pretty much like walking back in time. One small, single glazed window, wood chip wallpaper (painted baby blue), second-hand Weatherspoon’s carpet and a beautifully artexted ceiling, cunningly decorated with cobweb. Facilities and furniture were 3rd owner car-bootesque, you could probably pick the whole lot (beds, cupboards, kettle, doilies etc. ) up for about £10. The irony of having cupboards for people to stay in this room for any period of time was not lost on me. To top it off, for two people, there was 1 towel, 1 bar of soap and a message to try not to launder if possible – Thanks! £60 doesn’t bother, to be honest, the end of night kebab made the room smell tolerable. I wont even go into being able to hear every conversation / footstep through out the night and a the kid-sized breakfast. Do not stay here.

Nightly rates from $82

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